The Beauty, The Beast and Funny Accents (Francis Bonnefoy Oneshot)
by Zuliet
Summary: Francis didn't like 'Beauty and the Beast' but she did. So why not dance around to it while singing in a bad French accent while he's out? Husband!France X Reader


The Beauty and the Beast and Funny Accents (FranceXReader Oneshot)

"Be – Our – Guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test! Tie your napkin around your neck Cheri and we provide the rest!" {_} sang in a bad French accent as she danced around the kitchen making sweets and drinking wine. Francis hated 'The Beauty and the Beast.' Every time she watched it he would pout and whine 'I do not sound like that!' Although {_} was convinced he kind of sounded like Lumiere. Usually Antonio and Gilbert were over and would laugh at him. So, while he was out with the boys, {_} decided to have a little you time – and try to figure out how to tell him she was pregnant. Sure, maybe wine wasn't the smartest thing but the baby was craving sweets. "You know, your daddy's accent is kind of funny. _'Oh mon amour, I love you so so much!'_" {_} mocked, rubbing her stomach. She chuckled and continued to dance.

It was an hour or so later, she had rewound and replayed the old VHS tape that held 'The Beauty and the Beast' and was once again dancing to 'Be Our Guest,' when she heard the front door open.

"Oh mon amour!" called a voice as it trailed through the living room.

"In ze kit-chen! Ohononon!" {_} mocked in a French accent.

"Are you drunk?" questioned Francis entering the kitchen. "Because I'd think you're mocking me if I didn't know any better."

"Doez zit sound like I am mocking you?" she laughed, taking another swig of wine.

"Eh – kind of." {_} smirked at her husband, then placed her cup down and skipped over to him.

"Zhen I probably am." Now her accent was turning German, so {_} turned your attention back to the flatscreen TV where her movie was playing. "You know, Francis, I shouldn't even be drinking this wine right now!"

"A-and why is that?" he asked slowly walking up behind {_} and wrapping his arms around her. {_} laughed heartily,

"Because it's no good for the baaayyy-bbeeee," {_} sang, this caused Francis to turn her around.

"Th-The baby?!" {_} smiled and nodded proudly as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Yep! I'm pregnant! I already told the other two blathering idiots! They about pissed themselves in shock!" {_} laughed. {_} saw the colour drain from Francis' face as he fell to the ground in shock. After a moment he was only slightly coherent, but she could hear him muttering: 'I'm going to be a daddy?' over and over again. Then he looked up at her,

"You're pregnant?! Why did you tell Antonio and Gilbert but not me?" whined Francis from his spot on the floor as he tugged on the hem of her shirt. Tears ran down his face, but {_} knew they were fake. He did that often when he felt dejected.

"Because I knew you'd act like this!" {_} growled, walking over to sit on a kitchen chair with the wine bottle in her hand. Francis followed, crawling behind her like a child. {_} sat with her legs stretched out in front of her, slouching her back against the chair. Francis knelt between her legs with his arms around her middle, his head gently resting on her stomach.

"Is it mine?" he asked, {_} found this an extraordinarily stupid question.

"Of course it's yours, dumbass. Do you really think I'd let anyone else fuck me?" she spat, roughly hitting him on the head with the wine bottle. France started to fake cry again as he looked up at {_}.

"You know, you are really mean when you are drunk," he whined, {_} smirked at him then tackled him in a hug on to the floor.

"You didn't marry me because I was nice, Francis Bonnefoy!" {_} teased as she sat up and placed her butt on the floor between his splayed legs. "Of course, I'm not really sure why you married me. I'm not pretty, or funny, or spunky or skinny or –" Francis kissed her to shut her up then picked {_} up and carried her off to their bedroom where her drunk ass could sleep off the alcohol. Francis carefully laid {_} under the covers then crawled under himself. He laid pressed against her back with a hand over her waist,

"You know...you were wrong, {_}," Francis said quietly, resting his face on her arm. "I did marry you because you were pretty. The more I'm with you, the more beautiful you get and the more I fall in love with you."

"My friends say love isn't real. It's just the need to procreate," {_} grumbled, this caused France to sigh.

"If love isn't real, then why does my heart race when I'm around you, hm? Why do I not want to be with anyone but you? If love isn't real then – what is this feeling I get in my chest? Do I get heart palpitations every time I lay eyes on you? I think not. This is love, _Mon Amour." _{_} giggled, her hazed mind finding his voice absurdly funny at the moment. "What?"

"Your voice just now, you were so serious!" {_} laughed, then mocked his accent. "_'Mon Amour.' _ Your accent is so funny!"

"What?! You think my accent is funny?!" he whined, "and after all I just told you! You are so mean to me!"

"You didn't marry me because I was nice, darlin'," {_} chuckled, "I love you." This stopped Francis' whining and he stared at her for a moment before a soft smile crept across his lips.

"I love you, too." He kissed her shoulder and then the side of her head contently before resting his head on the pillow next to {_}'s. "I married you because you are beautiful. Because you funny. Because you are kind. Because you are perfect. You make me feel whole. This baby will complete our perfect family."

"Hmmm," was all {_} could manage to muse before she fell asleep, wrapped in Francis' arms.


End file.
